Padd Solutions

Converted by Falcon Hive

Auto-correction.

11/29/2010 03:07:00 PM 4 comments

For anyone who has fell under the spell of Apple and taken the plunge into the iPhone world, you have two options: auto-correct or no auto-correct? That is the question. (Also, I have no idea if Blackberry auto-corrects, I'm guessing it might.)

Auto-correction seems like the greatest invention since ... whatever came before the Snuggie (yeah, sorry, it’s a backwards robe). That is, when you first text on your iPhone, auto-correction presents itself beautifully! It functions well and your wpm exceeds any texting dream imaginable. But, see, the iPhone has some sort of creepy learning technology. It begins to understand which keys your fingers miss - if you accidentally hit A instead of S or G instead of H. So, then it starts correcting you before you make a mistake. The iPhone then behaves like this robot from The Incredibles:





It is intelligent and destructive.


Your phone begins to assume, and we all know what assuming does.


SENT TEXT: “When I was a child, I wanted to be a Firenze.”


Firenze? Really, iPhone? Not only did you make me look like a complete idiot to the receiver of this text, you’re also trying to correct my childhood ambitions from a reputable character in society (a FIREFIGHTER) into a fictional character from Harry Potter and the Sorceror’s Stone. Half MAN, half HORSE ... two of which I have never wished to be - not even half way. That’s like someone wanting to be a Jedi when they grow up, only 1,000 times worse because chances are nobody remembers the centaur from Harry Potter.


SENT TEXT: “Yeah, I would have added that song, but ‘Scarborough Affair’ gets on my nerves.”


First of all, why did it capitalize affair? Anytime I want my iPhone to capitalize something for me (like an ‘I’) it fails to do so. (Oh, and don’t ever try to type blu-ray on your phone by the way, it becomes a frustrating deletion battle - iPhone thinks it’s blu-Ray, which just looks stupid.) Secondly, Scarborough Affair? Am I going to Scarborough Affair? I think not. Simon and Garfunkel would be ashamed.


That’s another thing, it always tries to insert the worst word imaginable. I’ve seen “anal”, and “rectum” pop up in my correction box and, luckily, I was paying attention. Is Steve Jobs having a bit of fun? I’ve had instances with words such as “sashay” and “thee” because - apparently - there’s still a chance Shakespearian language is used in a world where u cn typ lik dis and get away with it while texting.


“Would thee enjoy a spot of tea?”


“Quite. I shall sashay myself to Starbucks.”


Never you mind, that’s a mixture of Shakespeare and RuPaul. It must be acceptable.


When your phone becomes more “intelligent” as it begins to understand the placement of your fingers ... always check before you send. It will save you loads of embarrassment.


(4) Comments

  1. Anonymous On December 2, 2010 at 7:35 PM

    Very interesting. Thanks for the suggestion. Great blogs!

     
    Jeremy Lewis On December 7, 2010 at 3:04 PM

    I just got an iPhone and I've already experienced some it's "brilliant" corrections. I turned off the auto-correct because I couldn't stand it anymore.

     
    Anonymous On December 7, 2010 at 9:21 PM

    I like the fact that my iPhone always changes "Dillards" to "dullards" and substitutes "Shiite" for ... well, you can figure it out. The iPhone is polite--just try to type "hell"--you'll get "heel". For even more fun with iPhone misunderstandings, try the Dragon Dictation app!

     
    Anonymous On January 12, 2011 at 3:27 PM

    I seem to be having the soma proactive with auto correction. Every tone I type a word it seems to think I don't know what I'm talking abide.
    Great artichoke, though. I really enjoyed your inspite.