Padd Solutions

These past two weeks have been pretty stressful for all of us. Midterms ... and some of us who unavoidably caught a lovely seasonal cold *cough*, *cough*. So, I thought we could all use a little laugh ... and what equates laughter better than my stupidity? Plenty of things. But, here's a little something I wrote a while back for you to sink your teeth into and hopefully give you a chuckle.

I was inspired by a Facebook group entitled "The first time I had a McFlurry, I thought the spoon was also a straw". Memories of other idiotic instances began to pour into my stream of thought, so here we have it:

I can be pretty stupid sometimes.

The McFlurry spoon is not a straw.

First of all, when McFlurries arrived on the scene, I was much younger. Yes, I'm setting the premise with "ignorance". Alright, here we go..

I remember ordering the M&M McFlurry for the first time and being absolutely thrilled with the idea. My mom placed the cup in my hands and I was stunned by the aesthetically pleasing, futuristic straw. "This opening is square, and rather large," I thought, "I'll be able to drink this quickly! Who cares about brain freeze!" After placing my lips upon the opening, I began devouring copious amounts of nothing. Veins popped, my face turned blue, and then I finally decided it was time to investigate.

After lifting the straw out of the container, I noticed a huge glob of ice cream formed at the bottom, "Man, this must be clogged with an M&M!" (I literally thought that.) Finally, I licked away the ice cream to discover, "Oh this is also a SPOON! COOL!" Because I made this discovery, I began to applaud McDonalds and their genius invention. A spoon and a straw - much better than the itty-bitty ICEE spoon/straw. Folks, I went back for a second try at the straw function before I glanced down into the straw and saw a plastic barrier blocking the airway.

Newsflash: the McFlurry must be eaten with a spoon. There is no straw.

There is no such thing as ROLL ON shampoo.

Roll on shampoo is something my mind invented when I discovered a brand new bottle of Garnier Fructis shampoo in the shower (as per my sister's request). What's hers is mine, right? I was tired of Pert and Loreal for Kids, so I decided to bust out the Garnier and hope my sister didn't get close enough to smell the glorious scent upon my thick head of hair. Opening something in the shower, with the water running is never a good idea. The bottle didn't want to open. I knocked it against the tile, the faucet, the tub, and ultimately decided this was no ordinary bottle of shampoo - it had an innovative, half-sphere design on the lid. You'll notice a theme: when anything looks unordinary, I automatically assume it's designed for different use. "By golly! This must be ROLL ON shampoo. How intelligent! I bet this conserves the amount of shampoo you use. Eco-friendly!" No, it never stops with my bright ideas, I must always test the theory. As if rubbing it on the palm of my hand wasn't enough, I had to rub it also on my scalp (why? Well, maybe it was activated by hair follicles.)

Fact: Garnier Fructis shampoo opens like a normal shampoo lid. The half-sphere does not roll out the product, it is simply there to look chic.

Two pronged headphones are not mutants.

On a flight from Houston to Newark, I realized I had a lot of time to kill. Reading was impossible, sleeping was out of the question ... what to do? "I know! I'll pay $6 to watch Turner Classic Movies on the head rest in front of me!" The flight attendant kindly offered a set of headphones for accommodation. I removed the headphones from the plastic bag and noticed something completely strange: the audio jack (whatever you want to call it) had two prongs to plug in. Well, the only hole I could find was on my arm rest, and it was a lone hole - my headphones couldn't possibly fit there! In a panic of claustrophobia (and fear of looking like an idiot.. ha. ha.), I began sticking the two pronged mutant into any slot I could find. When that didn't work, I started yanking on the screen to uncover a hidden place to insert my headphones for inflight viewing pleasure. Eventually, my mom started pitching in by forcibly shoving the prongs into the same places I had previously. Thankfully the guy next to us noticed our struggle and I was finally able to watch "My Sister Eileen" (which was half way over by the time I plugged in my headphones).

Guess what?: The two pronged part can be removed and morphed into a single insert.

So, product companies .. STOP MAKING MY LIFE DIFFICULT. I OVER THINK EVERYTHING. STICK TO THE BASIC DESIGNS. I WILL CONTINUE TO BUY YOU.

If you are anything like me, your iPhone is your lifeline to the world. Everything from Facebook to CNN can be accessed through the plethora of apps and full function web browser. The iPhone is also surrounded by an assortment of similar devices, like Blackberries, iPads, and Kindles. The only problem with owning and using these gadgets is their propensity to break in the course of an average day. An iPhone with a shattered screen held loosely together is an altogether uncommon and disheartening sight. Luckily, there are a few companies that specialize in gadget repair, allowing you to keep on sending out useless tweets.

One such company, Mission Repair, has saved my own iPhone 3G's screen from a broken lifestyle. When my phone decided to leave my hand and fly away, the results were less than pleasing. However, after some research on the internet, I found Mission Repair. Located in Kansas, this company repairs almost any electronic device out there. iPhones, iPads, iPods, PSPs, and laptops can all be raised from the dead. In my case, all I needed was their $80 iPhone Digitizer Glass Repair. What I got was a repaired phone looking like new. While there are cheaper alternatives, almost all of them don't compare in quality. Mission Repair has a 24 hour turnaround with speedy shipping, getting to back on your particular device in no time.

Another company easily found online, iFixyouri offer many of the same services as Mission Repair. Located in Florida, they do have something Mission Repair doesn't: Water Damage Repair. Yes, it is true that after receiving my new iPhone 4, it wanted to take a swim. I guess my iPhones both hate me. Fortunately, I was able to send my iPhone 4 to iFixyouri and see what they can do. I have not received my phone back, but I am looking forward to a great repair.

iFixyouri has a great reputation, as does Mission Repair. Either company would be a great choice if you need to bring your broken device back to life.

JPowell

1st Grade vs. College

(a journalistic representation by young Hilary Hulsey)

“School is fun.”

It’s safe to say school is not always fun. Certain classes make a person regret the day their mother met their father. College Hilary says: School is fun ... sometimes.

“If I had $5.00 I would buy a book.”

Back then, five dollars was plenty of money to buy a book for a five or six year old. College Hilary says: “If I had $5.00, I would buy a bookmark for my $175.00 textbook.”

Somehow, I think Mercer Mayer’s Me Too! and Numeroff’s If You Give a Mouse a Cookie entertain far more than any textbook I own. Perhaps if our textbooks had better illustrations ... maybe then I would love it.

“My idea of a good time is school.”

My, how things change.

“I wish my teacher would give me a hug.”

College Hilary: “I wish my teacher would give me a break.” Especially now, since midterms hover over every classroom.

“I wish my parents knew I love to go to school.”

Is it becoming obvious? Brown nosing is my forté. However, now they hear the endless amount of ranting, so I’m pretty sure my parents know just how much I love to go to school.

“He was cute.”

Honest Hilary: I still think this, to a degree. In a presidential way, of course.

“I like doing tests [...] I like doing math.”

I don’t know if this is true or not. Maybe I did? It’s certainly not the case now. I think the next journal entry shows what my parents thought of “I like doing tests”.

“I like having a MRI.”

No child loves tests that much.

“On Friday I watched Wizard of Oz.”

Well, maybe things haven’t changed - it’s Friday, and I’m about to watch The Wizard of Oz. But, I'm certainly not as limber - I won't be doing the splits in the floor while viewing.

Growing older genuinely matures the brain to some of the unhappier realizations in life - perhaps it’s time to start thinking like a first grader again.

As a child, I heard three things from my mother while studying:

1.) “Hilly, don’t read with the light off. You’ll ruin your eyes.”

2.) “Now, Hilary, get your homework done first before you spend your time leisurely.”

3.) “I just don’t know how you listen to music while you study! Don’t you think you should turn it off?”

I can say, unabashedly, my mother was right about 1 and 2. After bragging about perfect eyesight for years, I am required to wear glasses while reading. The stint in my early teens in which I wanted to read every classic novel I could get my hands on (and only by a dimly lit window) “did me in”. And of course, I am queen procrastinator, so there’s another instance in which I should have listened to my mother. But, number 3 on the list still holds true to my study habits.

A corner desk, facing the wall, without music is absolutely boring and I get nothing done. I realize homework is meant to be taken seriously, but studying and writing at a desk facing the wall (sans music) reminds me of Lonely Lunch. Lonely Lunch required a naughty child to eat in isolation while their friends chat and share juice boxes 20 feet away. Back then, Lonely Lunch meant complete damnation and my two experiences with LL definitely served its purpose for punishment. (I was undeserving of Lonely Lunch, by the way, but that’s another story for another day.)

While I hear the rest of my house bustling with television and musical excitement, I cringe because I'm missing out (on the "fun" I usually find absolutely boring and mind numbing during the summer). In essence, the silence is deadly and my mind wanders without something accompanying school work.

In the comfort of my room, I crank up the tunes and study swimmingly alongside Elmer Bernstein’s scoring of To Kill a Mockingbird or Coldplay’s Parachutes. Oftentimes, I find a certain genre of music compliments a specific course. College algebra requires heavier thinking, but ... it’s my least favorite, so I’ll go with something cheerier like Pet Sounds by the Beach Boys to improve morale. English conjures moodier emotions, so I’ll visit the Judy Garland realm of my playlist. But, why am I able to multitask? Am I retaining the information?

Multiple studies show different results - some negative, others positive. But, I think it depends on the person. For instance, a Kanye West fan (do they still exist?) or a Metallica fan would find my iTunes library incredibly dull and boring and the music would (most likely) tally up bad results upon studying. Just as my study habits would suffer if I listened to their style of music. Let’s face it: what is pleasing to one person may be poison to another and displeasing sounds or sounds unfit to your taste are distracting. Construction workers jackhammering, clicking pens, tornado sirens - could you study with a constant stream of any of the above at a consistent rate? If you can, I applaud your patience! I also applaud those who study best in complete silence. I, for one, desire music in a studying situation and I think it shows through my grades.

Here’s my question to you, AC: do your study habits and grades suffer or excel due to music?

As I mentioned in my previous vlog (video blogging), I am continuing to present a series of videos with basic information regarding the facilities that Amarillo College offers for its students.

I will do my best to improve the quality and content of future videos. It has been taking me a lot of time to get the whole package, but I believe it is worth it.

In fact, some of the reasons I am in Amarillo College are to learn, to improve, and to grow.

Facecation: When someone takes a vacation from Facebook, a popular social networking site that it notoriously addicting. Facecations are usually taken to spend more time on homework, activities, job, etc. -- Urban Dictionary

In light of my last blog post, “Procrastination”, I decided to take my outlook on spending time wisely to a new level - I vowed to take a Facecation. While you politely hold back your snorts and giggles, I will tell you: it is not an easy task.

My Facecation began on Monday evening as I vowed to my best friend via text, “I think I’m going to take a break from Facebook for a week or two :0” A moment later I received an encouraging response, “LMAO! That’s the funniest thing ever!” Gotta love moral support. After relaying reason after reason for my choice, I deleted the application from my phone and blocked all e-mail notifications from the website.

Why did I do this?

Hilary’s daily routine:

- Alarm goes off.
- Check phone for notifications from Facebook.
- Shower, get ready.
- Check phone for notifications from Facebook.
- Trek to school, find a decent parking spot.
- Check phone for notifications from Facebook.
- Journey across campus.
- Go to Facebook application and scour people’s status updates from the night before.
- Class time.
- Facebook while walking to car.

Lather, rinse, repeat. After every “task”, I travel to my phone for the crutch that is Facebook.

Keep in mind, it is only 9:50 on Monday morning and I have already checked my phone five times! I decided this is not a good habit to have. Facebook is addicting and if you “love” it like I do, endless hours are wasted ... and for what? Why do I care if my friend from middle school feels like a BeeGees song? (That was the first band to pop in my head, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a BeeGees status update.) Why do people care to know how I am feeling or what I am thinking about? Well, that was my top reason for leaving the realm of Facebook, cold turkey, on Monday night.

Guess what? Tuesday went by swimmingly. Every time I thought about jumping on the computer and checking my Facebook, I did something productive - assignments, readings, future assignments - and it felt invigorating! Facebook was just another procrastination tool to distract me from the important aspects of my education and other things I had been neglecting. I fell asleep early (10:55, folks!) and all was well. (JK Rowling made it impossible for me to end my blog post with that line. I wouldn’t want to end this post with something as vague as that, anyhow. But it works in the non-Muggle world, apparently!)

Wednesday arrived with an anti-social cloud hanging over my head. I started wondering what my friends were doing, and if someone tried to contact me about something important, and pretty much every excuse from “stopping by your wall to say ‘hello!’” and death crossed my mind. As I look back on the situation, I hope someone would be courteous enough to call if a relative or a close friend passed on .. but, no, the Facebook curse will cause irrational thinking. I’m sure you can foresee what happened on Wednesday evening. I caved after only 48 hours.

Somehow, this short break actually helped! I am still productive, procrastinating less, and visiting Facebook less often. The Facebook “app” no longer resides on my phone, and the notifications continue to fester on the website (rather than my inbox).

Facecations - no matter how short - are a good thing, especially while attending college. I know some of you probably think I lead a sad existence because I rely so heavily on the activity of others, but for those of you who are equally as interested in the “magic” of Facebook ... I highly encourage a vacation every now and then. Plus when you log in, you have many notifications and you feel loved - almost like it’s your birthday!

Procrastination isn’t something I just welcome into my life. I take its hat and coat, offer it a cup of coffee, prop its feet up, and humor it for hours on end. Procrastination is the friend who influences a person to do the wrong thing for pleasure over hard work. As much as I love procrastination, I’ve learned quickly - it isn’t something to mess around with while attending college.

Why do people procrastinate?

Today, I discovered a very informative - yet, very lengthy - webpage focusing on the vice of procrastination. We procrastinate over fear of failure, perfectionism, full schedules, and “because it works”. Everyone has a different way of procrastinating and a different reason for doing so. But, what I’ve failed to realize - until now - is how fortunate we are as students at AC. Amarillo College offers many avenues for those of us who fall victim to our “friend”, procrastination.

Amarillo College offers study groups, Writer’s Corner, math labs, counselors (tailor-made to your career path), and accessible professors who are concerned for your education. But, I think procrastination continues to hold some of us back due to pride or fear of looking ignorant - I know I fall into that category. Luckily, the support received through Amarillo College has pushed me out of my comfort zone. The instructors and counselors during my short time at AC have offered nothing but a helping hand. Go visit them! For lack of a better term, “they don’t bite!”

As I submit this post and close my laptop, I’m going to take my own advice and attempt a nine page algebra review. Sure, it’s daunting and I definitely wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy ... and, wow, one of my favorite films is on television, but, I’d like to be able to crack the door open when procrastination comes a-knockin’, pretend like I’m in my pajamas, and give it the cold shoulder.

And, readers have faith in yourself. Don’t let procrastination wipe its feet on your “Welcome” mat.

As God is your witness, you’ll never procrastinate again!

(I do not own the photos/screencaps used in this blog. Turner Entertainment Co. and Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. own the rights to the 1939 classic, Gone with the Wind. These photos were simply for the betterment of the blog and if you've never seen it, you should. But that's just my opinion.)

Welcome to the first AC Video Blog!!! This is the first of a series of videos in which I will be presenting a variety of AC centers, places, departments, and activities that I will be checking out as a new AC student. OK, I am not that new : /, I have been taking classes for a while, but I have to confess that I come to class and leave, thus I do not know the AC campuses and what is going on. So, the best way to find out is to VISIT those places, attend the events, take some video shots, and publish them for you, my dear blog audience.

Yesterday for example, I went to the AC Carter Center. I wanted to see it and find what activities were going on. First of all, I couldn’t have picked a better day. I found a parking spot only 3 blocks away! Now, inside the center there were only 5 or 6 people. But today it was full! The Amarillo Open Fencing Tournament was going on. I invited my son, (9), to come with me. I thought he would be interested in fencing, since he often shows natural skills in making weapons out of anything, like a broom, when playing with his friends. So, take a look at the AC Fitness Center and also at the Fencing Competition.

Also, if you would like more info about the CFC visit http://www.actx.edu/carter/index.php?module=article&id=3&page=5

Yes, I am new to this college experience and I am accustomed to being hand fed by public school with extended deadlines, assigned parking (until last year), and a cross guard in elementary school. Imagine my amazement when I stumble upon the free-for-all parking and unguarded cross walk on 22nd avenue.

On my first day of classes, I left supremely early - or what I thought to be early - and soon discovered: there is no such thing as “early” in the realm of the Washington Street Campus at 8:30AM. Unless you are willing to camp out in a single person tent the night before like you did for those concert tickets, the term “early” is nonexistent. (At least, in a car, you have a little more comfort than the ground .. and a tent isn’t required. Actually, this idea is becoming more and more appealing.)

I waited for - what seemed like - hours at the crosswalk. Student after student and not a single senior citizen with an orange flag in sight assisting both traffic and pedestrians. I’m pretty sure I heard the Creedence Clearwater Revival's version of “I Heard It Through the Grapevine” before I was able to make any sort of movement. Although I was smiling at each passing person, anger and impatience welled up within me and God must have extended his helping hand because the coast was clear.

Then what I failed to realize previously is: you are entering a sea of cars all searching for a prime spot, and what I adapted to - almost immediately - was the fact that I should give up and park next to the highway or perhaps by the downtown library and walk.

After the soles of my shoes resembled that of a tissue, I finally reached the crosswalk .. and what’s this? Cars are stopping for me (imagine that!) as I had stopped for my predecessors. I felt like Moses parting the Red Sea, or the Beatles crossing Abbey Road .. and if I had enough guts, I might have paused and pretended to be Paul McCartney for a split second. “How liberating,” I thought, “college rocks.” Arrogance consumed my usual clumsy swagger, and I held my chin high.

These crosswalks, I’m telling you, could serve as a psychological confidence booster and too bad Dr. Leo Marvin didn’t consider this for “Baby Steps”, because it is genius.

Pretty soon the World was my crosswalk. I was taking liberties at unmarked parts of the street - always with the lawful thought “I wonder if I’m jay walking” in the back of my head. Nevertheless, I didn’t care who stopped for me or if they were late - too bad.

So, the next time you’re waiting impatiently in your car at a crosswalk, think of poor souls, such as this blogger, who need this moment. Fellow pedestrians, hold your head up high and realize it is your civil right to uphold traffic!